one of my poems

25 Jan

A child drowning in the darkness,
she reaches for the light;
a gate appears before her,
she steps into the light.

understanding not the meaning,
she can see both day and night;
the door forever open,
it keeps her in it’s sight.

forever child, forever old,
she wanders on this earth;
always in the inbetween,
awaiting her rebirth.

Still drowning in the darkness,
she reaches for the light;
a gate appears before her,

she steps into the light..

copyrighted@sararose1950
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an old fae’s ramblings……

20 Jan

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I gaze, I wonder;  as I see through the veil.

I lift my wings to the ancient wind.

Fear is gone……….

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about my big brother….

20 Jan

Friday, November 16, 2012 9:16 AMToday in 2006 I lost my big brother.
 
The memories flood my mind, his smile, his laughter, our childhood.
 
He taught me to play checkers, and chess, and dominoes 🙂
 
He also taught me what the game 52 card pick up was *grins*
 
He worked hard at teaching me the abc’s and basic math, no easy task with me as a student (oh look a birdie!!)
 
We used to play adventures and pirates for hours in his room, the pillows on the floor were either rocks, or, if we were being brave that day, the backs of alligators.
 
I remember walking to the school bus one morning and a car pulled up.  The man inside leaned over to the passenger door and opened it, he kept  staring at me. My brother reached out his right arm and pushed me behind  him. the man asked if we wanted some candy, I remember feeling Tom’s  arm tightening as if  he was afraid i would step around him and look. He  told the man we do not want your candy, and told him to go away. I can  still hear Tom’s voice and see how he stood so straight and firm. I  cannot remember the last time I felt so safe. ( the man was reported )
 
It was rare, if ever, he addressed  me by my name. He called me Toots, I  guess it came from when i was a  baby and he said Pappy would call me  his little toostsie winker, what  ever that was, lol
 
He was 59 when he passed, so now i guess I am the big sister now.
 
Good memories, but still…..  want my big brother back.
 
Love you always Brother Tom, till we meet again.

about my late husband.

20 Jan

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I have never wrote about Joe, the memories were always too painful, even after all these years.

I think it is time now to remember the good things, and let the pain go. 🙂

I met him when i was 15 and he was 18. he was a street smart, tough guy.LOL He had a jerry curl, sharkskin pants and shiny pointy toed shoes. HOT!

We met on a blind date, my first EVER date. He told his friends after, that he had met the girl he was going to marry 🙂

He also loved to ride horses, we would go 2 sometimes 3 times a week, he never wanted to have one though, since  he worked at a stable when younger mucking out the stalls.

The biggest gift he ever gave me was that he loved ME. he would listen and smile through my babbling theories of everything from the bible to ufos.

He could fix just about anything, and had he lived until the home computer age, he probably would have been a hacker.

He would sit for hours, fascinated, feeding  data into our son’s commodore 64,  he loved technology so much.

He was a rebel, always ready to stand by his union co-workers, and almost got run over on a picket line.

He was many things to many people; a little league coach, a Webalos leader, and Santa.

He would dress up and drive across town to be Santa for my nephews for years, he loved doing that.

His friends all adored him, he always had a new joke, usually dirty, to tell everyday.

Many may remember his infamous, ape call, LOL, he loved doing it when we went canoeing, scared a lot of folks 🙂

He was proud of his children and wanted them to be happy and pursue their dreams, always.

I still miss him, but i think I have come to the point that I understand the lesson he tried to teach me…. that no matter what, we are all worthy to be loved; even the young woman he married who always saw herself as the ogre in the mirror.

Thank you Joe, for being a part of my life, I will always cherish the short time we spent together. Loved you “old man” ……give em hell on the other side………give em hell…….:)

Joseph Polen Sr., entered this world on November 18,1947

Left this world on November 29, 1988

He was 41 years old

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in gratitude…..

18 Jan

I need to thank my dear friend Maggi, a lovely lady from Australia who has encouraged me to start a blog. We met many years ago on Yahoo and she has been such an inspiration to me to never give up!

I will never forget Elizabeth either. We met on a poetry site  years ago and she saw in me something;  she tells me I have light within. Such an amazing artist and writer she is. I am humbled that she calls me her friend.

These two are the reason I am here. I really do not know where to start. I will post some of my poetry and  tell a few stories of my life’s journey.

I am an optimist, even though my life has been filled with losses.  My husband, father, brother and mother are all passed.

Tomorrow I will post a couple of short notes I wrote about my husband and brother.

Today is the beginning 🙂  I am here.

for Elizabeth and Maggi, they believe in me :)

16 Jan

I am just me. The story to tell is about not just me, but everything and everyone that has touched my life. I am forever grateful 🙂  I am not a professional writer or poet,  but I have a spirit that most do not understand. This will be my story………..